Tag: Fangs

Audio: Consumption Ep. 03

Episode 3 of SFM Presents: Consumption was recorded LIVE on Google Hangout, Wednesday, August 14th.

Our guest this week was the incomparable Mur Lafferty, author of the recent novel, The Shambling Guide to New York City.

Show Notes:

2:30 – Elysium
8:45 – Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters
14:30 – The Wolverine
16:00 – White Trash Zombie Apocalypse –  Diana Rowland
18:50 – Nice Girls Don’t Have Fangs – Molly Harper
19:12 – The Failed Cities – Matt Wallace
20:30 – Nos4a2: A Novel – Joe Hill
22:30 – 20th Century Ghosts – Joe Hill
23:45 – The Lost Room
24:15 – 11/22/63 – Stephen King
27:22 – The Shambling Guide to New York City – Mur Lafferty
42:20 – The Wool Omnibus – Hugh Howey
48:00 – Indie Game: The Movie
1:01:00 – Civilization V
1:04:25 – SPOILER CHAT – I WARNED YOU! – Elysium

Hosts:

P.G. Holyfield (author of Murder at Avedon Hill and SFM Founder)
Christiana Ellis (too many podcasts to list here, but you can check out all things Christiana at her site).
Chooch (Beyond the Wall Podcast Co-Host)
Vivid Muse (Vivid Musings Blog) 

Contact:

If you want to be part of this or future shows (questions for the guest, topics for us to discuss, general trolling):

Email us at consumption at specficmedia dot com
Leave a voicemail at (704-981-1SFM)
Post a message here before the show, or on the YouTube page during the show!

Feature – The Eye of Newb – GoT: Season 2 Episode 3

Editor’s Note: “The Eye of Newb” contains spoilers from the episode listed. If you have not watched the episode written about, you have been warned. But as Matt has not read the books (as of yet), you do not have to worry about future spoilers.
Over the next three days we’ll be releasing episode recaps for episodes 3, 4, and 5. Enjoy!

Listen closely, Friends… hear that gentle shuffling scrape barely discernible above the pounding rage in yours ears? Yeah. That. Swoosh, swoosh, swooshthat would be the Newb’s forehead brushing the floor as he sways, repentant, nay penitent, groveling before Your kindness and gentle mercy. Before that oil-sheened blade of Yours meets the base of my medulla oblongata with a satisfying, yet coolly lethal crunch, I plead with you, Dear Readers… perhaps Reader by this point… hear my plea!

A paper intervened. A 20-page monster, in fact. Big, hairy monster. With fangs and talons, and a 50% impact on my final grade.

No?

An old friend came in from out of town?
My suit was at the cleaners?
A terrible plague? Locusts?!
Crap. How about a heartfelt ‘I’m sorry’? Thank you, Sweet Intercessors! I will write for Thee, and in abundance…

All kidding and pretense firmly aside, the Newb extends his humble apologies for the substantial delay in posting the column. i had to dive into some obscure books and mount a case revolving around French anarchism and origins of a school of thought. it was immensely fun and enriching, but demanded substantially more time than i thought it would when i began. You, Good People suffered for that loss of time.  but now I offer you my amends in the form of a three-episode super cobo pack of snakry derision, thorough confusion and other horrors too numerous to name.  Get some tea, or perhaps something stronger. make sure you can reach the toilet paper, depending on where you choose to partake. You’ll be here a while.

The Eye of Newb: Game of Thrones (HBO) Season 2 Episode 3: \\What is Dead May Never Die\\

By: Matt Lynch

“Every man who has tasted my cooking has told me what a good whore I am.” – Shae

Part the First, wherein the Black is sent packing and Jon Snow finally proves he’s human – unless the undead bleed in Westeros.

  • Old Craster seems a might peeved that his nighttime Yeti feeding was observed, and Lord Mormont equally so that Jon went and dropped his sword again.
  • Oh, dear me… the moon-faced git has truly fallen hard for Gilly the Sister Wife. He’s handing out his dear Mum’s jewelry now. Those two might just make some ugly kids one day.

Part the Second, wherein incessant off-camera panting reigns, and Bran is informed that he’s not so special after all and may just need better drugs.

  • What is it with Bran and freaky animist dreams?  I really wish that these little vignettes would be, oh, I dunno, maybe explained somehow.
  • The old Maester reminds very much of Terrence Stamp, which makes me think of The Limey. I liked that movie.  A lot. Oh wait, the show’s still on…
  • Apparently Westeros don’t need no stinkin’ magic, and Bran should just get the silly notion that any exists out of his head.  Okay, sure.  That explains the live dragons.

Part the Third, wherein we meet Brienne, the first truly interesting non-Imply character in months, and dueling redheads steal the show.

  • Ser Loras got smoked. And not in the good, tender, loving way, either.
  • Damn! That is a formidable and frightening woman. I like her already.
  • So, now Renly’s got himself his own Dog, or Bitch, or something. Brienne is one hell of a bodyguard, that’s for sure.
  • Cat can’t catch a break. Loras mocks her, the “queen” disdains her, and Renly treats her like a much dumber woman than she is.
  • Oh Gawdamighty! Winter again?!  Somebody put these people in touch with a decent meteorologist for the love of all that’s holy – well, that and for my sanity.
  • On the upside, I like Brienne even more watching her scoff at any feminine title. She promises to be a storyline worth following.

Part the Fourth, wherein high and mighty Ego King gets insolent. and pissy…. again, and is given a commission worthy of his stature.

  • I’m not kidding. That is one wicked-ass fireplace.
  • Ah, the love of siblings long separated.
  • But Daddy… but, but, you never loved me… you gave me away.  Someone please slap  Theon again, please? The flat smacking against his scruffy little cheek does my heart good.

Part the Fifth, wherein Impness finally lends some worth to the broadcast, and Shay brags about her domestic skills.

  • Shae’s going a little stir crazy. Poor thing.
  • Tyrion as a protective lover? Now that’s a new twist.
  • That scene was way too short.  I only hope for more Imp to come.

Part the Sixth, wherein Sansa projects that special desolate fealty of which only she is capable, and gets a new stylist in the bargain.

  • I don’t know the actress who plays Sansa, but I’m pretty sure that if she keeps up this revealing emotion without words bit for the entire season, she may deserve an award as nice as Peter Dinklage’s.
  • I’d lay a fair wager that Cersei is bereft of a conscience.
  • Hmmm… Shae will be serving as Sansa’s handmaiden. Well played, Tyrion. Well played.
  • Uh-oh, loads of suppressed rage pilling forth from poor Sansa, all with such a fragile edge of loneliness.

Part the Seventh, wherein the Imp hatches a bit of skulduggery, and we learn that even in Westeros, they still sell Milk of Magnesia.

  • Tyrion is on a spy-hunt. What a glorious game of ‘Who’s the Rat?’ My money’s on Littllefinger.
  • Can I also say that watching the interplay between between the Imp and Baelish is the most fun I’ve had all night? This means not only that both Aidan Gillen and Dinklage are superb actors, but also that there hasn’t been nearly enough killing going on.
  • Baelish is beginning to see that he actually has a worthy adversary in the Imp. This does not bode well for Tyrion. That Baelish is a slippery bastard.

Part the Eighth, wherein we witness a heaping pile of uncomfortable man-love, and we learn that by the yardstick of royal bedchamber behavior, maybe the Lannisters aren’t the most twisted after all.

  • Eeesh.  I’m an enlightened, open-minded modern man of he world and all, but I really didn’t need, well, pretty much all of that.
  • Apparently, Loras is a little pouty about the whole “Brienne of the Kingsguard” deal. Guess we know who the wife is.
  • Things are looking up, based solely on the new boudoir companion and her choice in vestments, but this has got to be the most awkward love scene ever.
  • Ha! Only a confirmed gay king would open the pillow talk to his fetching bride with “Love your gown.” Just saying’.
  • Shut up and kiss her, Renly. That’s how this dance goes.
  • Gah! Did she just say that it’s perfectly alright for her brother to come in and help? Okay, really, this scene is like the Ving Rhames basement scene in Pulp Fiction. It cannot end fast enough.

Part the Ninth, wherein Cersei (yes!) feels pain.

  • Tyrion tries desperately to explain the world of entangling alliances to his cruel sister, and she just goes all “I’ll rip up your little piece of paper, too” on him. Stay classy, Cersei.

Part the Tenth, wherein Ego-boy finally picks a side, and another bizarre seaside ritual unfolds.

  • Careful with that candle, Theon. You might singe your classic Shaggy van dyke.
  • The Drowned God, now?! How many freakin’ gods are there in Westeros? By my count we’re somewhere around twelve now – in a landmass that seems to be roughly the size of Connecticut. I’m gonna need like a flowchart or something before all this is over, aren’t I?

Part the Eleventh, wherein someone finally gets away with calling Tyrion a dwarf, and the Imp unearths a mole.

  • Bronn is awesome.
  • Pycelle is a rat of high quality. He turned on Varys faster than Eagles fans turned on Ricky Watters.
  • What’s with the beard? think I’m missing something again.
  • Off to jail goes the Maester, as Tyrion shows the kind heart hiding beneath that small and deceitful chest of his.

Part the Twelfth, wherein a Spider and an Imp imbibe, and the runner-up line of the night is spoken.

  • Yeah, yeah, Varys, a priest a rabbi and a sherpa walk into a pedicure joint… your point?
  • “Power resides where men believe it resides.” So true, that. Varys is like an incessantly prattling Silent Bob.

Part the Ultimate: Alas poor Yoren. We knew him well. He was a crafty old bastard who was good with a blade.

  • Wow, so a march to the wall feels a lot like a cub scout campout. Dead-tired boys snoring everywhere.
  • Oh, no… I feel very bad about Yoren chances. My experience with this series is that a big, heart-warming and connective reveal like the speech about killing Willem is a sure harbinger of death.
  • Yep. There it is. Dammit. I liked Yoren.
  • Funny how poorly all these supposed gutter rats run from a fight and can’t seem to obey warnings, isn’t it? Just like their leader.
  • That crossbow scene was flat-out awesome. More like that, please.
  • Hmmm. So Arya saved Jaqen’s life. That feels significant somehow. We’re down a Yoren, but have gained a Jaqen. Fair trade.
  • Oh, crap. Arya’s lot just keeps getting worse. Now she’s in Lannister hands. At least Gendry’s safe now. Poor blonde kid. The penalty for stealing the wrong helmet is death, fool.

Okay, so better than last week, and the introduction of at least two new characters with promise will keep me in for next.

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s Newb review for Episode 4, “Garden of Bones.”

Feature – The Eye of Newb – GoT: Season 2 Episode 2

Editor’s Note: “The Eye of Newb” contains spoilers from the episode listed. If you have not watched the episode written about, you have been warned. But as Matt has not read the books (as of yet), you do not have to worry about future spoilers. Enjoy!

The Eye of Newb: Game of Thrones (HBO) Season 2 Episode 2: \\The Night Lands\\
By: Matt Lynch

“There are no goats, Half-man.” – Shagga

Welcome back, Friends!  The late, great St. Douglas Adams once declared with authority his abiding love of deadlines, especially the little whooshing sound they made as they flew by.  A sage, a visionary and a speaker of great truths was he. ‘Nuff said.

Buckle up and ingest the snark, my gentle snowflakes…

 

Part the First, wherein a waterway is soiled and a Kingsman is very nearly circumcised on horseback.

 

  • We open with a gentle pastoral creek, the tinkling of flowing water our sole companion.  So relaxing… Albeit not for a wary, even jumpy, Arya.  Wait, wait, that’s not water! It is tinkling, though.
  • Jaquen holds promise, as opposed to his two ‘scared straight’-inspired cage inhabitants.
  • I might pay to see someone shave a spider’s arse. Call it a character flaw.
  • What you couldn’t pay me enough to be right about now is this: Gendry.  Seems he is now relying on a den of greedy snakes for his own safety.

Part the second, wherein an arachnid pays a social call, and dietary habits provide an amusing allegory.

  • Woot! The whistling wee man greets the ears… Impness!
  • “Something tells me that Lord Varys doesn’t like fish pie…” Indeed! Snicker.
  • Love the menace fairly dripping from Varys’ jowls as he compliments his own confidentiality.
  • Only to be topped by Tyrion’s “where your friends are concerned.”
  • The fangs truly come out in the exchange at the door.  “…the big fish eat the little fish and I just keep on paddling…” – a definite runner-up for line of the night.

Part the Third, wherein Cersei shows her rending skills yet again and another threat of cold winds or some such rears its ugly head.

  • Cersei is a world-class bitch with an aching heart.
  • Woot! Zombies at the wall! Oh never mind, this scene is all talk-talk, not burn-burn.

Part the Fourth, wherein farts (as always) are funny, and Samwell Tarley is (as always) a moon-faced git.

  • Wrestling with Violet, eh? So that’s what the kids are calling it these days.
  • Uh-oh, Moon-face has fallen for the toothy damsel in distress.
  • What does happen to the boys? I wonder. Could this be, oh what’s the word… foreshadowing. Bah.
  • I will give Sam credit for clearly stating that you can’t steal a person. He does offer the most human perspective this series has to offer, even if he is a soft and whiny moron.

Part the Fifth, wherein we all feel a mite thirsty and the latest Red Waste christmas toy is revealed – hey, Kids, it the one and only Head In A Saddlebag!

  • Props to the acting in the segue.  I actually felt somewhat parched in my own family room.
  • Yeek. Justice is swift and harsh in the Waste. Imagine if all the locals carried Colt Peacemakers.  Why, it’d be… Arizona.
  • Klingon again?! Make them stop. Please?

Part the Sixth, wherein Theon partakes in a little shipboard nasty, and has sex as well.

  • Well, old Theon’s a bit full of himself, and the “hard men” line was groan-worthy.
  • Okay, so I’ve bitched and moaned about Bubba Snow-Tep for a while now, but honestly I’d watch a full hour of that stiff, sullen bastard rather than put up with ten more seconds of the Ego King, here.

Part the Seventh, wherein the cutscene is absolutely priceless and sausage drippings steal the show.

  • For some reason, Elvis Costello leaps to mind, although detectives works much better than perverts, phonetically.
  • Not sure whether to cringe or giggle at the wiping and kissing. Perhaps both.
  • “Poorly handled.” Bwahahahaaa!
  • Okay, so Joffrey made Ros cry, and now Littlefinger is threatening to sell her into horror and death. The one must die, and the other must not remain long in this world if he makes good on his veiled threat.

Part the Eighth, wherein Bronn gets a promotion and the Imp culls the Queen Regent’s herd.

  • Dinklage. Award. Stat. Seriously.
  • Never, ever, ever call Tyrion a dwarf. Good to know.
  • Good old Bronn’s coming up in the world, despite his complete lack of scruples.

Part the Ninth, wherein genitalia and urination feature prominently, and Gendry reveals that he is at least as observant as we are.

  • No way that wide-eyed waif is a gutter rat. Or a boy. Sorry.
  • Well, the companions are officially co-conspirators now.  ‘Bout time.
  • Ha! Gendry is a fairly chivalrous joker.

Part the Tenth, wherein the Ego King gets his comeuppance, Iron style, and a mystery woman makes her entrance.

  • Awww… guess you’re not all that, are you Theon? You’re so loved that no one cares that you’ve returned.
  • See, this old guy here on the docks is the closest to my people I’ve seen thus far in the series. If only he’d spat on Theon’s shoes, the scene would’ve been complete.
  • But wait, who’s this young lady fan from nowhere? Fishy.
  • Theon literally can’t help himself, can he? Even when he’s so clearly being tested. I mean, there’s swagger and then there’s idiocy.
  • Holy crap! That’s a fireplace.  Release the Kraken!
  • Queue tender reunion between a dad and his boy. Can I have one, just one, reason to give a single s–t about any of these people?
  • Oh, so THAT’s what “I just unwittingly fingered my own sister” face looks like. Eewww.
  • Discord, and another self-declared king. Goody. Can we get back to the murder and mayhem again?

Part the Eleventh, which has pirates! Well, okay, pirate. Just the one really. But he has got a sweet accent, and is walking proof that Westeros is multi-cultural after all.

  • I like this pirate’s aspirations, and his general demeanor… and his take on religion. This dude’s got potential.
  • Oh, great, sonny boy is a proselytizer.

Part the Twelfth, wherein the Lannisters have a wee spat, we learn that Joffrey is a psycho, and Cersei reveals the source and depth of her hatred for Tyrion.

  • Ouch.  I mean, really. Ouch.
  • What is this stirring in me? Sympathy? For Cersei? I’ll need a wash after this.

Part the Thirteenth, wherein Stannis plays with toys and a wicked redhead toys with Stannis.

  • Who does this evil witch want burned?
  • Apparently freaky sorceresses want babies, too. Huh.
  • If I had to pick a place for a roll in the hay, an iron table filled with action figures would not be high on the list.

Part the Last, wherein another infant meets a grim fate, and Bubba Snow-Tep meets a blow to the head.

  • No. Don’t go into the woods alone, Snow, you dumbass! Haven’t you seen a single horror flick, or are you really that dense?
  • A baby-snatching Yeti? Wait a minute… maybe I could get back into this series after all.

Well, the Newb has never been one to waltz around the wisteria or otherwise call it differently than he sees it, Dear Friends. That episode? Not much there there, if you catch my drift. I suppose we’re still firmly hitched to the old Exposition Express for another couple of weeks.  Despite my better judgement, I guess I’ll take that ride.

 

Cheers, All!

 

 

 

 

 

Feature – The Eye of Newb – HBO’s GoT Ep. 10

Editor’s Note: “The Eye of Newb” contains spoilers from the episode listed. If you have not watched the episode written about, you have been warned. But as Matt has not read the books (as of yet), you do not have to worry about future spoilers. Enjoy!

 

The Eye of Newb: Game of Thrones (HBO) Season One Finale: \\Fire and Blood\\
By: Matt Lynch

\\Do you lie awake at night fearing my gash?\\\\“ Varys the Spider

 

Well, Good People, nothing like opening on a crimson-stained cutlass to get the old blood pumping. After the pace, punch and depth of last week, it felt almost as if the finale was, in fact, a compelling epilogue.

But before we venture thataway, Friends, the Newb must relay some well-deserved and grateful thanks, and a brief poll.

First, the thanks:

Dear Landlord, thank you for pushing me to contribute, for lending me the canvas to fill, and for being an all-around righteous dude.

Good People, thank you for granting me your orbs, your thoughts, and your kind comments. I sincerely mean my appreciation of your reading, ingesting, responding, and even (lookin\\™ at you Patman\\¦) editing where needed. While I most often write for an audience of one, it has been my distinct privilege and honor to have you all along for this particular ride. Gracias.

Mr. Martin, thank you for a hell of a tale into which to sink my fangs.

And lastly, but certainly not the least, to my Lovely Missus, thank you for your patience and support \\“ watching and re-watching episode after episode all while your beloved tap-taps on the old laptop down the couch can get a bit tiresome. I thank you, Love, for graciously encouraging said tiresomeness.

Now, the poll:

As all good things must come to their eventual end, so must this season of Game of Thrones. After watching the full season largely on a dare alone, the Newb finds himself extremely tempted to pick up the books and begin to read. It may be the only way I can sustain myself for the full year until the show picks up again! I mean\\¦Spring 2012?! That\\™s just cruel.

But, as I know my role, I will humbly submit my fate to a vote of the viewing public. If you have read and enjoyed my scrabblings over the course of this season\\™s run, would like me to abstain from the books and continue my neophyte reviewer status into spring of 2012, please leave a comment below with an AYE vote somewhere in its body. If, contrariwise, you have not enjoyed, found value in, or otherwise cared one whit about this drivel (and that\\™s perfectly fine, BTW), please drop a comment below with a NAY in the body. Majority rules, and the polls will stay open until the Landlord kicks your ass out. Gracias, again, Friends.

 

So, where were we before I so rudely interrupted myself? Ah, yes\\¦ a crimson-stained sword, and the curtain falling for Game of Thrones, season one. But a curtain that is woven with such marvelous beauty!

Fer\\™instance, how about Ros and Grand Maester Pycelle? Holy crap, Good People! That was ingenious. The scene at first seemed superfluous and a mite icky, but after it all played out, it made two very salient points crystal clear and further illuminated a third known fact, as well.

Point One: The clever old bastard has been feeding Baelish the daft and doddering line for years through regular visits with Littlefinger\\™s whores/spies.

Point Two: The calisthenics, and especially the last-minute adjustments in posture, reveal that the Grand Measter is far spryer than he would have the Council or the Court believe. He\\™s every bit the fake that Baelish is, and one hell of a canny survivor. In fact, while Varys may have been the one brought up among actors, Pycelle could probably give him a good run for the money.

Fact Three: Ros has a superlative posterior. Just sayin\\™.

And how about Tyrion as King\\™s Hand?! This sets up a tricksters\\™ Battle Royale among the Imp, Cersei, Baelish and Varys, with an unhinged, immature Joffrey as the downcard disruptor. How freakin\\™ cool is that?!

And of course, there\\™s the smokin\\™ hot (literally), empowered and oh, so very naked Dany, replete with her new pets\\¦ but we\\™ll get to that in a bit.

For now, on to other thoughts\\¦

  • I knew that Arya\\™s constantly being mistaken for a boy would creep back into the narrative, but didn\\™t see \\˜Arry the Orphan in her future. Yoren is rough but kindly protective, and as the braggadocio about killing fat boys reveals, the young Miss Stark should be fine. I\\™d still like to read her story.
  • Okay, this damn three-eyed crow is really starting to piss me off. That said, at least it had a contiguous role in the plot this time, and a dream guide.
  • And the wolf in the dungeon almost made me crap my breeches on the couch.  Something that fearsome really shouldn\\™t be named Shaggydog.
  • What is it with this youngest Stark kid, hanging around in the shadows and issuing cryptic (no pun intended) and bleak statements seemingly from nowhere? Kid needs therapy.
  • Poor, poor Catelyn. No time to grieve, as much as she may need to.
  • And Robb, my boy, it just got real.
  • The bard scene seemed truly superfluous. If anyone doesn\\™t know by now that Joffrey is a cruel and inhuman prick who thinks nothing of maiming those who only joke about him and his family, they haven\\™t been paying attention. Assigning the deed to Ser Ilyn was a particularly sadistic touch.
  • Push him, Sansa! Push him! Dammit, Hound. Let her push him! Let\\™s hope that Robb does give Sansa this little (long string of expletives deleted for propriety\\™s sake)\\™s head. Hatred is too weak a feeling to adequately cover Joffrey.
  • Then again, if Sansa had just left when Ned told her to\\¦
  • It\\™s captain blowhard again, and this time he\\™s so enamored of Robb that he declares fealty to the new King of the North. A little time alone with a direwolf changes a man, I guess.
  • Love the exchange between Robb and Theon Greyjoy, tho. Very Braveheart.
  • What is it with the Lannisters and their perfect villainhood? \\Widowhood becomes you.\\ The perfect monologue to inspire enmity. One gets the sense that Jaime really doesn\\™t mind dying\\¦ is perhaps anticipating it with fervor. He does have a high opinion of himself, doesn\\™t he?
  • But even with such grandeur, the Kingslayer can\\™t bring himself to tell Catelyn the whole truth of Bran\\™s fall. Interesting.
  • Oh my God! Cersei really is a nightmare. She a serial relative-bedder with very poor taste in men.
  • I bet Tyrion would\\™ve appreciated half the passion that his father showed at Jaime\\™s capture regarding his own imprisonment.
  • Imp at King\\™s Landing\\¦ to rule! Marvelous! I\\™m in. And good old Dad has a new appreciation for Tyrion\\™s skill and wisdom. But he just can\\™t help himself from issuing one final intolerable rule \\“ no Shea the Whore in Court.
  • Dany doesn\\™t look so hot, and sure enough, Bruce Campbell the Wise was right about the unborn and black magic being a bad mix. The kid sounds hideous.
  • If Dany doesn\\™t look so hot, next to Drogo she looks like the after shot in as antihistamine ad, all bright-eyed and perky. The Khal has no tribe and he looks like death warmed over. A fate worse than death.
  • Not for nothing, but I told you not to trust the Godswife bitch, Daenerys. Ah well, you live, you lose a husband and a baby to dark incantations, you learn.
  • While I do not approve of the witch woman\\™s methods, I understand her motives.
  • Oh, dammit. It\\™s Snow. Again. Just when he got all interesting and human, all of a sudden he\\™s the bad-ass deserter. Yawn. Good for Samwell, however, as it seems he\\™s gestating a prehensile spine under those XXXL furs of his.
  • Good for Tyrion for defying daddy dearest and bringing along Shea the funny whore\\¦ but I\\™m guessing it will all end in tears. See, that story from last episode is the very definition of foreshadowing.
  • Samwell, despite shrieking like a small girl when unhorsed, does make a compelling recruiting officer, together with his mates. And another bit of foreshadowing as Jon Snow clutches his wolf-bedecked blade and looks every bit the leader I hope he becomes. I\\™d watch that and not be bored.
  • Ugh. Two weeks is all it takes to go from being the most feared warrior on two continents to twitching in death spasms beneath a pillow? Oh, Drogo, I am sorry. But Dany just had to be free, you see, so we had to write you off the soap opera. From awesome to pointless in 14 days. What a waste.
  • Pycelle is a damn genius, and Ros is incendiary. Simply brilliant. Especially the final transformation\\¦ visions of Ferris Bueller dance through my head.
  • The Pycelle scene is so good (IMO anyway) that it almost causes the verbal dueling between Baelish and Varys in the throne room to pale by comparison, but the allusion to playing their roles and serving a new king speaks volumes.
  • So, \\˜Arry the Orphan and the bastard Baratheon blacksmith are thrown in together on the way to the Wall, eh? Yeah, that\\™s definitely a story I\\™d read in its own right. Except for the \\˜winter is coming\\™ bit. Sheesh. Enough, already.
  • Oo! Oo! Lord Snow is armed with old steel and off to confront the zombies, the White Walkers and united Wilding tribes. Now this story is compelling and I want to know more\\¦ in the series freakin\\™ finale.
  • Are you telling me that all of those dragging, Ho-Tep bits were just there to feed the mother of all cliffhangers? You bastards. You cold, unfeeling bastards.
  • Okay, so forget the mother of all cliffhangers. Dany\\™s got your cliffhanger right here\\¦ behind her perfect breast, the idyllic, feminine curve of her shoulder, and\\¦ a baby dragon or three. Outstanding! I knew those eggs would be a factor, just not this big a factor. The balance of power has thoroughly shifted. Forget a Dothraki army. The last scion of House Targaryen has got herself some genuine dragons. I literally am blown away by this ending. How long is it until Spring 2012, again?

And\\¦ Fin. Ende. Again, Friends, my heartfelt thanks for your time and attention. I hope I have provided at least some delight, and until we meet again, I remain your faithful Newb.